How to make sure your ex does not come back to you?


– A satirical approach to dealing with a breakup

It is now late autumn, the time of the year when most breakups take place. Breakups can be difficult to handle, especially if you did not see it coming in the first place. Most post-breakup remedies deal with how you can get over your ex and move on, but it is also important to make sure your ex does not come back to haunt you. Want to know how? Keep reading.

Pretend to be cool

When you and your ex first breakup, it is imperative to pretend you accept the breakup and show no emotion. This way, even if your ex was just faking the break up, you can confirm the breakup is real. Once your ex sees that you do not care about the relationship, all their hopes of you ever changing will perish.

Beg as much as possible

Some time after the split, go back and beg for a second chance. This could be done through simple texting, calling or even meeting up. Usually this part will flow naturally, as if you cared enough and cannot help but to try to get back together. The important thing is not to control your emotions, but to be seen as pathetic as possible to your ex.  

Ignore their wishes

If you successfully carried out the first two steps, your ex will most likely say you should remain friends, or better yet, never contact each other again. Make sure you ignore their words, and insist on your idea of getting back together now. Tell them how much you still love them and cannot live without them. Ignore whatever they say, act as if you do not care about it and just express your opinion.

These three simple steps should stop your ex from contacting you, stop dreaming about being together with you, or even block you out completely (social media included). The plan sounds easy, but the determination is not. But if you want to get rid of your ex forever, you will surely also have the necessary conviction. After all, the worst kind of love is never letting go, even if the other wants as much distance as possible.

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